
Okay - now that I've seen this, I think that I'm going to be sick!!!
My leg is a lot bigger that this one, but it gives you the basic idea. My doctor will go in with a camera, and then I don't know how he gets in there to cut and move stuff and then sew stuff back on in different places, and grind stuff down, etc. etc. I'm just very glad that I will be in dream land when it all happens.
I'm scheduled to show up at 6 tomorrow morning. I'll be shaken down, for the cash up front, and then the really fun stuff starts. The worst part for me, I think, is getting the IV started. I have REALLY BAD veins. Last week, at the lab, it took 5 trys before she struck oil. Then yesterday, the nurse didn't even make an attempt at sticking me. She tried valiantly to find a good vein in both arms and both hands. My doctor (now this is my dear friend who has been my OB-GYN for over 20 years now) came in and said he would do it. (By the way - I'm not pregnant, and I didn't go in for my yearly, as that was taken care of last June. He was checking my TSH level for me, since I've just recently started taking Synthroid.) Sure enough, he found a good vein on my left hand, and got it on the first stick using a "butterfly" - I didn't even bruise. I love that man!
Oh - I gotta change my mind...the worst thing is getting weighed!
After I get weighed, put in a ridiculous gown, have the IV started...I WAIT, and wait, and wait some more. At some point a nurse will give me something that's supposed to make me sleepy. FAT CHANCE. The stuff never works on me. I'll be wired for sound until they knock me out in the OR.
NOW - for those of you who have never had surgery, I"ll es'plain something to you. They put you in a teeny tiny little gown, that is so thin, you could read the newspaper through it. Then they take you into a room that's lit up like a football stadium, and as cold as a meat locker. They have you slide over onto a skinny little slab of stainless steel that is approximately half as wide as your body is. No blanket - just your bare backside sticking to that cold metal. All the while people are just chatting away, as your love handles flop out over the sides of the table and ice is forming on your butt. You look up, and you see your reflection in this HUGE lamp that looks like a satellite dish. No makeup, a greenish pallor to your skin, and fear in your eyes...and then some fool says "how are we doing". "Well
we're just great thank you.
We haven't enjoyed anything this much, since
we pushed out a 10 pound 15 ounce child through a 4 inch slot ( with no drugs) and then got said slot stitched up, while having a sadistic woman smashing on
our stomach with unbridled passion. That was so much fun,
we think that
we'll just try that again, so why don't
we put on a robe, and get the heck out of here!" Next they strap a mask over your face, and it's so tight that the fat under your eyes is squished up over your forehead. Now they try having a conversation with you about the weather and the economy and they'll ask you silly questions, like "are you comfortable"? Right about now, you are ready to deck anybody within reach, but you can't, cause your arms are tied down. Thankfully, this is when you go bye-bye until you wake up in recovery.
And I'm paying them to do this to me!Somebody give me as aspirin please? Shoot, no aspirin allowed.
I'll check in with you as soon as I can.
Over and out good buddies.