We all have a road we must follow in life. Often it's long and winding, and seems to go on forever.
CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"
1.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was weapon of math disruption.
5.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a
little behind in his work.
6.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll
still be stationery.
7.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.
8.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result
in Linoleum Blownapart.
9.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The
police are looking into it.
12.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One
hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a
head.'
14.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then
it hit me.
15.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.'
16.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.
20.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
21.
A backward poet writes inverse.
22.
In democracy it's your vote that counts. In
feudalism it's your count that votes.
23.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of
religion.
I can feel the tension in the air. Hoards of readers, at this very moment, are sitting at their computers...spines tingling,,,holding their breath...the hair standing up on the backs of their necks...thinking"oh please, please, let it be me".................................................Oh sorry, I was off in the dream world for a moment.
After mixing the names up in the magic hat...hubby closes his eyes, and gently draws out a tiny folded up slip of yellow paper....Oh....whose name did he draw? He was so giddy with excitement, I was afraid that he might just forget what he was doing and wander back to the tv.
This is what I wanted the mayo for the other day. I've been eating chopped apples with celery slices, pecans and dried cranberries, for lunch, just about every day, since coming home. We haven't had any mayo (just Miracle Whip...yeeeeek, blaaaah, gross - scrape my tongue just thinking about it). It hasn't been too bad, but I just wanted a little mayo on if for a change.
Linnea - I think that Yoplait Light Thick and Creamy Yogurt is a perfectly wonderful healthy food item.
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle suggested an extreme skateboarding accident to the question..."What happened to my leg?" I've seen this dog on tv so many time...and I never get tired of watching him.
Another suggestion was telling people that I was injured when auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance, or maybe it was Dancing With the Stars. Thanks Vicky!
And, from Homestay Mama, that I was auditioning for the Texas RollerGirls and that I ran into the judges.
But my all time favorite suggestion came from our very own TatersMama. She wants me to tell people that while playing Donkey Baseball I fell off my Ass. Oh my delicate ears.
Instead of the healthy breakfast above...
And this tastes sooooooooooooooo much better with some of.....
And I love Healthy Choice Frozen dinners...especially when I had some salt and a lot of...
BUTTER!
And these little beauties are FABULOUS when you dip them in...
