Mermaid or Whale?

I got this email yesterday and I liked it so much, I've decided to post it.

To all my lady friends,......Whale it is!!

Recently, in a large city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,Good gosh, look how smart I am........

So - I'm going along with the above
and choosing to be a Whale as opposed to a Mermaid!
I'm not saying that I shouldn't lose any weight - far from it - I need to lose a LOT of weight. I need to exercise. I need to live a healthier life. BUT - I don't need to be stick thin. I don't need to look like a movie star. I don't need to be any younger. I don't need to be looked upon as washed up with one foot in the grave.
How about all of you...Whale or Mermaid?

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I'm in a Funk

Yep - I'm not sure what is what anymore.
Nothing major...
just worried about my health, my sanity, my husband,
my kids, my grand kids, the state of the union, starving children in Africa, world peace, ...
just little things like that.

Can't think of anything witty or insightful to impart upon you.
Can't decided what to have for breakfast (and it's already close to 11:30).
Don't feel like cleaning, or cooking, or doing the laundry.

I need a new toothbrush.

Why haven't I won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes yet?

I can't get a gastric bypass, or lap band surgery, because 5 years ago, I didn't have any doctors appointments, that included a "weigh in". Apparently that year, I only went to the chiropractors and the ear nose and throat guys. I find this hard to believe, but it's true. I have to have a 5 year weight history for the *@#%insurance company to approve the surgery.

I need a pedicure.

I want to go to Colorado, Wyoming, Alabama, and Florida. It's been too long since I've seen some of my kids and grand kids. Missing them makes my chest ache.

Big S cleaned my carpets yesterday...that was nice of him.

I still don't have 100 followers - so I'm thinking of calling it quits, and going ahead and picking a winner...but maybe I'll wait just a few more days.

Got a good deal on some Christmas presents at World Market yesterday.

I need to go upstairs, but that would require going upstairs.

Steve got me a Gazelle...maybe I'll go "walk" on it while watching some insidious sitcom.

I made a really good dinner on Tuesday night. Steph's chicken, green beans, and baked potatoes. Maybe I'll have leftovers for breakfast.

Somebody stop me, before I bore us all to death.

Meme-O-Rama: Crazy 8's or 8X8

I'm so far behind,
that I can't even remember when I was tagged for this..
but I guess "better late than never"!

Musings of a Fat Chick tagged me.
The rules are that I have to tag the person who tagged me, complete a list of 8's, and then tag 8 other people (and let them know I tagged them).
So heeeeer goes - 64 totally useless things about me:

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. My daughter's wedding.
2. Being thin (ha like that's really going to happen).
3. Going to Upstate NY for my daughters reception.
4. Seeing my kids and grand kids.
5.Steve's retirement - LOL - That's never going to happen!
6. Winning more books online.
7.Reading the books that I've won online.
8.Writing my own book, and seeing it online!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1.Blogged
2.Read blogs
3.Entered contests on blogs
4.Wasted time on Facebook
5.Took the dogs out several times
6.Finished two more books
7.Made a great dinner
8.More Facebook time (Yeah - I know, I need a life!)

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Lose Weight!
2. Feel comfortable in airports.
3. Read faster.
4. See my children and grand children more often.
5. Be out of debt.
6. Have lots of property.
7. Have a large home and an animal rescue on above property.
8. Be with my husband more.

8 Shows I Watch:

1. Corner Gas
2. CSI(Vegas)
3. Waiting for God
4. As Time Goes By
5. Last of the Summer Wine
6. The Closer
7. Burn Notice
8.The Lie

8 Favorite Fruit:

1. Watermelon
2. Cherries
3. Blackberries
4. Strawberries
5. Bananas
6. Raspberries
7. Apples
8. Grapefruit

8 Places I'd Like to Travel:

1. Ireland
2. England
3. Belgium
4. Australia
5. Alaska
6. Israel
7. Scotland
8. The Netherlands
9. Down memory lane

8 Places I've Lived:

1. St. Petersburg, FL
2. Dunedin, FL
3. St. Petersburg, FL
4.Gainesville, Fl
5. Jacksonville, FL
6. Lakeland, FL
7. Louisiana
8. I don't have a 8th place...does this mean that I need to move?

So who would like to be tagged?
Let me know,
cause I don't have the energy to try to catch anybody today,
in order to tag them.
Cause I'm in a FUNK.
That rhymes with skunk.
And skunks are stinky - which is how I feel.
Wonder if they ever got that Ape Skunk
(the one the size of Kong)
over at Queenie's?

Computering Poem - in bad taste!

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny,
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse
I wiped and shined the topside..
That really did the trick....
I was just admiring my good work.
I didn't mean to 'click.
But click, I did, and oops - I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it -
I was into it all night. Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess.......
While I sit here on my hiney.

Author Unknown

Out of the Mouthes of Babes

The husband called me this morning, to relate a text he received from our eldest daughter.
Seems her son, Little C, was talking with our son, Big J.

Little C - "Gee Big J, you're going to be an adult on your birthday, so you should really start thinking about finding a wife!"

Big J - "Why?"

Little C - "Cause a wife will do all kinds of things for you...like even shave your back!"

Oldest daughter must have been laughing really hard, because the text was so full of typos.

It made for a lovely start (for the husband) to a usually dreaded Monday Morning!

So Cool

I haven't posted a photo recently, so decided to show you this one.
This is a shot of a handy dandy shopping cart sanitizer.
It's in front of my little "neighborhood" grocery store,
where you can get everything from fresh sushi
to 25 lb. bags of chicken scratch feed.
Honest folks, I'm not make'n this up!
They also have fresh flowers, a small deli/bakery, and a lovely gift and card section.
The prices are higher than WalMart, but they do have good specials, and gosh, they are only 3 minutes from my house.

It's a family owned store, and you can't beat the service.
When I haven't been able to find an item
(that I've previously purchase from my beloved Publix)
they have offered to order it for me.
If you can't find something in the store,
instead of telling you where it is,
they will walk with you and show you where it is,
or offer to go get the item for you.
The baggers are mostly kids from the local high school,
and they are all polite and helpful.

I should frequent the store more often,
but always tend to head for WalMart and Target,
so that I can do "one stop shopping".
(Which actually means that I buy more stuff than I really need!)

What about you? Where do you prefer to shop?
Do you have a good local grocery store or farmers market?

Another day I'm going to tell you about the family owned an operated drug store,
that's across the street from the grocery store.
Bet you can't wait to hear all about it!
LOL

If you are new to my blog go
HERE
to enter my current giveaway.

I Have the Greatest Girls in the World

It's so wonderful to have daughters, who are also your friends!
It's so heartwarming, to get sweet little emails from them.
It's so great, to have them call - just to say hello...to ask for your advice..to share something silly, or special.

It's also great when they
SEND
GIFTS!

See these little valance curtains? They hang in my laundry room. They were given to me by my DIL (She also gave me a matching rug, and dish towels).

One day recently this little hanger with hooks (that match the curtains, etc.), showed up in the mail. How cute is that?

Several weeks ago, I got two packages. See that bowl in the picture above?
It's a Rachel Ray "Garbage" Bowl.
I've been wanting one for ages.
Then a few days later...A DVD arrives.
The BBC Version of Jane Austen's Persuasion!
Then day before yesterday, another box arrives.
This one had the cutest little stuffed pug, 3 little pigs, and a couple of books.

I'm a lucky lady. I've got daughters whom I love dearly, and who love me too.
And they share their love in soooooooooooo many ways.
Thanks Girls!